On Strike (showtape) (Johnsonverse)

Cast

 * Aaron Fechter as Billy Bob, Looney Bird, and Earl Schmerle
 * Xanthe Hyunh as Ui Hirasawa
 * Jaret Reddick as Chuck E. Cheese
 * Caroline Richardson as Helen Henny
 * Earl Fisher as Pasqually P. Pieplate
 * Jeremy Blaido Jasper T. Jowls
 * Chris Hill as Mr. Munch
 * Duke Chauppetta as Dook LaRue (archive footage)
 * Stephanie Sheh as Yui Hirasawa
 * Shelby Lindley as Tsumugi "Mugi" Kotobuki
 * Cassandra Lee Morris as Ritsu Tainaka
 * Cristina Valenzuela as Mio Akiyama
 * Tim Johnson as himself
 * Joe Leahy as Mr. Announcer

Summary
During the Magic Night showtape, a storyline was started in which Rolfe DeWolfe was fired from the Japanese franchise after making sexist and racist comments following "Puff the Magic Dragon" when Mio broke down in tears (sharing much of the same backstory as her Johnson Aligned Universe counterpart, sans any kaiju), which led Ritsu to bolt off of center stage (much to the surprise of startled audiences) and run to Stage Right, where the Cyberstar monitors showed her beating Rolfe and Earl egging her on. Afterwards, Ritsu took Mio backstage to calm her down while Yui and Mugi explained Mio's behavior, before the band reassembled and played "Magic" by Olivia-Newton John, completely forgoing the last segment with "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" (the "Michael Jackson Medley" had been eliminated in this new version of the Magic Night showtape, replaced by the previously-cut "Magic Touch").

Following the incident, all four members of Ho-kago Tea Time went on strike to protest the chauvinistic conditions they were subjected to by Rolfe (a YouTube video posted by ShowBiz showed Ritsu and Mio having created a picket line outside one of the Yokohama locations, Ritsu shouting "Rolfe's a jerk! Ain't gonna work!"; this also appeared in a CEC TV News segment, which also had a segment about Mr. Munch's attempts to pan for pizza as if it was gold, which earned him scorn from Tim, who did a report on it in the style of his review segments on Fireside Chat with Tim Johnson), and the animatronic show went on hiatus; in its place, older Rock-afire Explosion Cyberstar segments from the late 1980s were shown (early plans called for center stage to be on a turntable that had The Rock-afire Explosion on the other side so they could be used in the event one of the AnimeTronics suffered a major malfunction; this is being rolled out to all ShowBiz locations worldwide over the next several years). The next released showtape around Thanksgiving revealed Rolfe's termination from the Japanese franchise. He was replaced by Yui's sister, Ui Hirasawa (voiced by Xanthe Hyunh), who still utilized Earl; unlike Rolfe, Ui and Earl actually put together coherent comedy acts, and are very civilized towards each other. In addition, the Ui animatronic is capable of putting down Earl and picking up and playing a rhythm guitar, with Earl upgraded to now be able to function independently by way of an onboard rechargeable battery pack that recharges while he is held by Ui; Earl is charged independently of Ui's own onboard battery. Ui used the U failure mode identifier.

Over the course of the showtape, Billy Bob, Looney Bird, Ui, and Earl struggled to keep the show going, trying to find stuff to talk about and songs to sing before the audience walked out, even getting desperate enough to use Ui's iPhone to call up Uncle Klunk, only to find he had since changed his number (the number was one Hyunh called at random, and it turned out to be the number for a sex hotline, which was hung up before anything explicit could be said), so they settled for Skyping Munch's Make-Believe Band and making cracks at the Five Nights at Freddy's video game. It ended up being the most hilarious showtape CEI had ever produced, as much of it was just Fechter and Hyunh bantering back and forth without a script for roughly 45 minutes, making it one of the longest ShowBiz showtapes after the New Year's Eve 1988 showtape (which was 50 minutes).

Segment 1

 * (The segment begins with Mr. Munch, in puppet form, apparently panning for gold in a river.)
 * Announcer: Spanning the globe...
 * Chuck E. (o/s): No, Munch, he said spanning the globe, not panning for gold!
 * Mr. Munch: Oh, I'm not panning for gold, Chuck E., I'm panning for pizza!
 * (Cut to the CEC TV News intro, with clips from Munch's Make-Believe Band, The Rock-afire Explosion, and Ho-kago Tea Time in the background.)
 * Announcer: It's time for CEC TV News! Featuring newshound Jasper T. Jowls, plucky reporter Helen Henny, foreign correspondent Pasqually P. Pieplate...
 * Pasqually: Ciao! Heh heh!
 * Announcer: ...and Mr. Munch, taking care of the leftovers.
 * Mr. Munch: Did I hear somebody say "chow"?
 * Announcer: Take it away, Chuck E.!
 * (Chuck E. appears at a news desk in puppet form.)
 * Chuck E.: Thanks, Mr. Announcer! Hello, everybody! It sure is a busy news day today! Our top story:
 * (A graphic appears with a picket sign that reads "Strike!" on it)
 * Chuck E.: The Strike of the Century! Following the events of Magic Night at ShowBiz Pizza Place locations in the Japanese States, Ho-kago Tea Time has gone on strike, protesting the sexist and racist environment that can be traced back to one Rolfe DeWolfe! The disgraced ventriloquist has been fired from performing at locations in the Japanese States, but will continue performing with the Rock-afire Explosion literally everywhere else. With his sidekick Earl Schmerle now is Helen Henny.
 * (Cuts to Helen in puppet form outside of Rolfe's house with Earl in animatronic form)
 * Helen Henny: Thanks, Chuck E. Mr. Schmerle--
 * Earl: You can call me Earl.
 * Helen Henny: Okay, uh, Earl, can you give your side of the events of that night?
 * Earl: Gladly! Rolfe was being so insensitive, so misogynistic, I would've slapped him if, ya know, I actually had use of anything above my neck.
 * Helen: What about the ensuing scuffle between Rolfe and Ritsu?
 * Earl: Scuffle? I think beatdown would be a more accurate description. Ritsu came in like a wreckin' ball and made Rolfe cry and scream like a girl. It was glorious...
 * (Cut back to news studio)
 * Chuck E.: Unfortunately, we can't air the rest of Earl's interview because he began advocating further violence against Rolfe. Jasper T. Jowls, meanwhile, caught up with Billy Bob and Looney Bird.
 * (Cut to Jasper in puppet form at Smitty's Super Service Station with Billy Bob and Looney Bird in animatronic form)
 * Billy Bob: I tried VERY hard to stop Ritsu from doing somethin' so rash, but apparently, Charlie shut off my mic. No matter what Rolfe said, he didn't deserve this.
 * Looney Bird: Okay, A: I cut your mic with a box cutter, and B: Rolfe has had it coming since 1980.
 * Billy Bob: Looney Bird, I thought I said DON'T advocate violence when they interview us!
 * Jasper: Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with Looney Bird here. Rolfe is an EXTREMELY unpleasant person to work with.
 * (Cut back to news studio)
 * Chuck E.: Our cameras were on site at a ShowBiz Pizza Place location in Yokohama, Kantō, where Ritsu and Mio have set up a picket line.
 * (Cut to the Yokohama location, where Ritsu and Mio, in animated form, are seen marching back and forth with picket signs)
 * Ritsu: ROLFE'S A JERK! AIN'T GONNA WORK! ROLFE'S A JERK! AIN'T GONNA WORK! ROLFE'S A JERK! AIN'T GONNA WORK! ROLFE'S A JERK--
 * Rei: And so's Hikari!
 * (Ritsu and Mio stop marching and look at Rei as if words fail them. After a few seconds, they resume marching.)
 * Ritsu: AIN'T GONNA WORK!
 * Chuck E. (v/o): Yui and Mugi are also picketing...I think.
 * (Cut to the exterior of a ShowBiz Pizza Place location in Kobe, Kansai, where Yui and Mugi seem to have just finished building something)
 * Mugi: Is this how picketing works?
 * (Cut to a wider shot, where it's revealed they have surrounded the building with a picket fence)
 * Yui: I dunno, but that was fun! And like I always say: fun things are fun!
 * (Cut back to the news studio, where Chuck E. is talking to someone off-camera)
 * Chuck E.: Can I get mustard on tha--oh, OH! Ahem. Next on the agenda--
 * (Suddenly, Tim Johnson barges in)
 * Tim: Right, that's enough!
 * Chuck E.: Oh, uh, Mr. Johnson! I wasn't expecting you here today!
 * Tim: The next item on your agenda was something about a skee ball record! That's not news! Now, scurry along while I deliver REAL news!
 * Chuck E.: Uh...okay. You are the boss, after all.
 * (Chuck E. exits screen left as Tim sits down at the news desk)
 * Tim: Now that the vermin is out, it's time for some real news, which will be done in the style of my review segments on Fireside Chat with Tim Johnson, weeknights at 11:30 p.m. on WBC!
 * (Tim pulls out a piece of paper and clears his throat. His delivery of the headlines is in the most flamboyant and smarmy way possible. A graphic appears with a pizza and a pan, with the caption "Pizza=Gold?")
 * Tim: Local idiot, Mr. Munch, has once again proven that the people of Planet Purple lost the evolutionary lottery! He has recently begun trying to pan for pizza in a river in California like a 49er would have panned for gold! This was his HORRENDOUS defense of his futile crusade:
 * (Cut to Mr. Munch, in puppet form, in the Sierra Nevada)
 * Mr. Munch: Pizza is like gold!
 * (Cut back to Tim in the news studio)
 * Tim: What Mr. Munch, IF THAT'S EVEN HIS REAL NAME, fails to recognize, is that, as a high-ranking member of ShowBiz Pizza Time Inc. AND the frontman for Munch's Make-Believe Band, he has 24/7 access to all the pizza he wants! NEXT!
 * (Tim throws the paper behind him and gets out a new one. A graphic appears showing Pasqually getting tomatoes thrown at him, with the caption "Milton Berle, he be not".)
 * Tim: Failed comedian, Pasqually P. Pieplate, is just that: a failed comedian.
 * (Cut to Pasqually, who is on stage with the "Pasqually's Amateur Hour" backdrop)
 * Pasqually: So, what do you call-a money paid for a pizza? (crickets chirp) Pizza dough! Get it? (The crowd boos and throws garbage at Pasqually)
 * (Cut back to Tim in the news studio)
 * Tim: You KNOW your act is horrible when recently-disgraced ventriloquist Rolfe DeWolfe can put together a more cohesive act than you! NEXT!
 * (Tim throws the paper behind him and gets out a new one. A graphic appears with Dook wearing a dunce cap, with the caption "Stupider than Munch?")
 * Tim: Drummer for the Rock-afire Explosion, Dook LaRue, recently took an IQ test with a rock, a stick, and a sink. The latter three scored higher. And yet despite literally being dumber than a rock, Mr. LaRue somehow manages to have a voice of gold!
 * (Cut to Dook with his drums, singing "Honeybee" by Steam Powered Giraffe from the Concept Division Premiere showtape, then back to Tim in the news studio)
 * Tim: NEXT!
 * (Tim throws the paper behind him and gets out a new one. A graphic appears with a cross-eyed Nodoka and the caption "Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire")
 * Tim: Alleged genius, Nodoka Manabe, has come under scrutiny for apparently parroting information from Wikipedia during her history lesson on steampunk from the "Tribute to Steam Powered Giraffe" show at Japanese States locations a few months ago! Thus proving once and for all that she is NOT the genius she claims to be! Ms. Manabe could not be reached for comment. NEXT!
 * (Tim throws the paper behind him and gets out a new one. A graphic appears showing Chevy Chase in 1975, with the caption "We love you, Chevy")
 * Tim: Last story: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead, in case you were wondering. And that's the news for today! Tune in to CEC TV later when a panel of scientists debate whether pizza occurs naturally in nature. This is television now. Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
 * Announcer: This has been CEC TV News, with all the sensationalist bull you can handle!

Segment 2

 * Billy Bob: Whew! Another day reportin'!
 * Looney Bird: Let the word be known that Rolfe was most certainly very unpleasant!
 * Billy Bob: Anyway, we have some good news. We've just hired a replacement for Rolfe. She's going to be Earl's new co-star, and so Stage Left is going to be redesigned accordingly. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Ui Hirasawa!
 * (Stage Right's curtains open to reveal Ui, who's handling Earl)
 * Ui: Hello, everyone!
 * Earl: FINALLY! I have a co-star who is humble! I like her already.
 * Looney Bird: Yeah, at least she isn't Rolfe!
 * Ui: I'm going to be Earl's new co-star, as Billy Bob just said, and I would like you to know that Earl's the one carrying the show. He always has. Rolfe only created Earl for money to pretend that Earl was the dummy.
 * Earl: That nimrod should know that he's the dummy himself.
 * Ui: My sentiments exactly, Earl.
 * Billy Bob: So, what now?
 * Looney Bird: We better do something funny for the audience.
 * Billy Bob: Great idea! Let's call Uncle Klunk. Looney Bird, got your phone?
 * Looney Bird: Sure.
 * (Looney Bird pulls out his phone and dials the number)
 * Woman on phone: Don't have a credit card? All you need to do is dial 1-869-569-7399, or 1-869-555-SEXY and we'll connect you. You'll be talkin' with horny women and people who work for money--
 * (Looney Bird cancels the call)
 * Looney Bird: Um... ladies and gentlemen, the number has definitely changed. This is a ShowBiz first, people. Klunk's old number now redirects to a se--
 * Billy Bob: Shush, Looney Bird. Families are watching. (brief chuckle) Anyway, we apologize for the inconvenience. But we will still try to do something funny. Ui, I think now's your time to shine.
 * Ui: But I haven't rehearsed yet.
 * Billy Bob: Just think of something funny.
 * Ui: (breath) Um, how is everyone doing today? I'm going to say you're doing great, because a special someone's got something to say. Tell 'em, Earl.
 * Earl: Oh, um, so one time, when me and Rolfe went our separate ways for a few months in '95, I walked up to my '68 Camaro, which has some hydraulics, nitrous, and a modified cockpit to be operated properly by a puppet; I still drive it, by the way, and suddenly Rolfe comes crying back, promising he'll treat me better. I don't buy it, so I drive off to the Howard Johnson's across town. I buy myself some ice cream, and I find Rolfe next to me, ordering the same flavor I just bought, which is caramel fudge. Rolfe says to me, and I quote, "Willing to try what you buy, Earl", unquote. With the meanest look you'll ever see on his face. And you know what I did after that?
 * Ui: What?
 * Earl: I kicked him out through a glass window. Literally. I didn't even know I could do that, seeing as I'm a puppet. But I did it. Left the guy in bandages for weeks. And would have remained solo had Rolfe not lost a lawsuit he filed against me in court once he recovered and stolen me back as revenge.
 * Billy Bob: Not bad, but I think we can do more.

Trivia

 * As stated above, much of the "What Now?" skit was Aaron Fechter and Xanthe Hyunh improvising their lines; they did so via phone patch.