March-April 2016 showtape (Japanese Isles) (Johnsonverse)

This is the transcript for the ShowBiz Pizza Place Japan March-April 2016 showtape.

Cast

 * Aaron Fechter as Billy Bob, Looney Bird, Rolfe DeWolfe, and Earl Schmerle
 * Stephanie Sheh as Yui Hirasawa
 * Cristina Valenzuela as Mio Akiyama
 * Cassandra Lee Morris as Ritsu Tainaka
 * Shelby Lindley as Tsumugi Kotobuki

Segment 6

 * Billy Bob: Howdy folks. Well, we had a request to slow things down a bit, so I'd like to invite y'all to sit back and relax, enjoy yourself, maybe set your feet up on the table. But don't set your feet in your neighbor's pizza! Just enjoy. A little reverb, please.
 * (Billy Bob begins singing "Feelings" by Morris Albert)
 * Billy Bob: Feelings-- A little more reverb. Nothing more than feelings-- Perfect. Trying to forget my feelings of love Teardrops rolling down on my face Trying to forget my feelings of love Feelings--
 * (Looney Bird squawks loudly, before clearing his throat)
 * Looney Bird: Oh..... sorry.
 * (Billy Bob continues singing "Feelings")
 * Billy Bob: Feelings, for all--
 * (Looney Bird yells loudly)
 * Billy Bob: Looney Bird, what's wrong?
 * Looney Bird: Oh, nothing, Billy Bob. Um, nothin-nothing at all. Ex..except THAT I HATE THAT SONG!
 * Billy Bob: Oh, I'm sorry, Looney Bird. I didn't mean to pick one you didn't like. I'll tell you what, I'll pick a different song, okay?
 * Looney Bird: Okay, Billy Bob!
 * Billy Bob: Here's a song that was number one longer than any other song in the history of music, "You Light Up My Life". With reverb.
 * (Billy Bob begins playing "You Light Up My Life" by Debby Boone)
 * Billy Bob: So many nights I'd sit by my window Waiting for someone to sing me his song So many dreams I kept deep inside me Alone in the dark, but now you've come along And you light up my life You give me ho--
 * (Billy Bob is interrupted by the radio, which stops after a brief moment)
 * Looney Bird: Carry on.
 * (Billy Bob continues singing "You Light Up My Life")
 * Billy Bob: ...to carry on--
 * (Once again, Billy Bob is interrupted by the radio, which plays "(I Can't Have No) Satisfaction" by Mick Jagger)
 * Billy Bob: Looney Bird, I can't sing this song if you're gonna play a radio!
 * Looney Bird: What?
 * Billy Bob: I said I can't sing this song if you're gonna play a radio!
 * Looney Bird: WHAT, BILLY BOB?
 * Billy Bob: I SAID I CAN'T SING THIS SONG--
 * Looney Bird: Well, I wish you wouldn't!
 * Billy Bob: Well, what's the matter, Looney Bird?
 * Looney Bird: It's jus--nothing, Billy Bob. Nothing at all. EXCEPT THAT I HATE THAT SONG!
 * Billy Bob: Oh, Looney Bird, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I guess I picked a couple losers, huh?
 * Looney Bird: Well, I guess so!
 * Billy Bob: Aw, Looney Bird, I'm sorry. Look, I'll play something for you, okay? What would you like to hear?
 * Looney Bird: Rolling Stones! ROLLING STONES! I WANT SOME ROLLING STONES!
 * Billy Bob: Okay, Looney Bird, let's have some Rolling Stones in one, two, three, four!
 * (Billy Bob begins playing "(I Can't Have No) Satisfaction")
 * Billy Bob: Here's one by Mick Jagger. I can't get no satisfaction, I can't get no satisfaction 'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try I can't get no, I can't get no-- satisfaction
 * (Billy Bob is interrupted by the radio, which plays "You Light Up My Life"; the radio gets increasingly loud to the point where eventually, Billy Bob and Looney Bird can barely be heard unless one listens closely enough)
 * Billy Bob: Looney Bird! Looney Bird! Looney Bird, come on back!
 * Looney Bird: What?
 * Billy Bob: Looney Bird, come on back just a minute, you're playing that radio again, I can't play this song if you're gonna play that radio!
 * Looney Bird: Sorry, Billy Bob!
 * Billy Bob: Looney Bird, look, I'm trying to play this song! I can't play this song over the radio, and this is the fourth time you've interrupted me! I'm trying to play this song!
 * Looney Bird: I like this song, Billy Bob!
 * Billy Bob: How many times are you gonna interrupt me before I get the--
 * Looney Bird: Ah...
 * Billy Bob: Okay, Looney Bird, I've had it with you, I'm gonna burn your feathers for this!
 * Looney Bird: Okay, Billy Bob!
 * Billy Bob: I'm not... I'm not gonna stand any more of this! How many times you gonna interrupt me?! Four times, three times, two times?!
 * Looney Bird: I don't know, two times!
 * Billy Bob: Okay, here comes!
 * Looney Bird: Oh, good, I--
 * Billy Bob: Look, I can play this in court twice at this point!
 * Looney Bird: I don't think so!
 * Billy Bob: Okay, if you don't give me a-a-a chance, I'm gonna-watch this, here it is!
 * Looney Bird: Okay, Billy Bob!
 * Billy Bob: Okay, I'm gonna do this! Neeeeh!
 * Looney Bird: Okay, Billy Bob!
 * (The song on the radio ends)

Segment 7

 * Billy Bob: Looney Bird? Looney Bird? I-I'd like to talk to you. I'm sorry I fussed at you a little while ago, Looney Bird. I'm only human, you know. Please talk to me! (Billy Bob begins to break down) You know you're my best friend, Looney Bird, and I promise I'll never yell at you again if you'll talk to me, Looney Bird! (Billy Bob cries) Please say you'll forgive me! (sniff)
 * (Looney Bird appears, with a slight frequency noise; all of the Ho-kago Tea Time members have varying reactions such as Mugi struggling not to crack up)
 * Looney Bird: I forgive you, Billy Bob.
 * Billy Bob: You do?
 * Looney Bird: Sure! You're my best friend!
 * Billy Bob: I am?
 * Looney Bird: Yeah! That's why I was teasing with ya!
 * Billy Bob: Oh, Looney Bird, that--
 * (A frequency sound is heard)
 * Billy Bob: What's that noise?
 * Looney Bird: I don't know!
 * Billy Bob: It sounds like feedback. Can't be feedback. Microphones aren't on. My microphone's not on, is it? Looney Bird, check your microphone. See if it's on.
 * Looney Bird: Okay, Billy Bob.
 * (Some sounds are heard)
 * Looney Bird: Um, Billy Bob, it's on!
 * Billy Bob: Oh, no!
 * (The band members struggle to avoid cracking up, among other reactions)
 * Looney Bird: Ha! Why do you gotta look stupid when the curtain's open? Ha ha! I'll be in my barrel!
 * Billy Bob: No, now you come back, Looney Bird. Don't leave me out here al--oh, hi, folks, uh, I guess y'all are kinda wonderin' what's goin' on and, I, uh, I- I- uh, well I uh, that is to say I, uh, and as much as I, I- I- uh, I-I'm gonna take a break, okay? (hears telephone ringing) uh, I hear the telephone ringing, I gotta go.
 * Ritsu: Rule number one: don't play with other people's emotions.

Trivia

 * Segments 6 and 7 were re-recorded with updated voices for Billy Bob and Looney Bird, whose voices sounded different in the Spring 1982 showtape.