On Strike (showtape) (Johnsonverse)

Cast

 * Aaron Fechter as Billy Bob, Looney Bird, and Earl Schmerle
 * Xanthe Hyunh as Ui Hirasawa
 * Jaret Reddick as Chuck E. Cheese
 * Caroline Richardson as Helen Henny
 * Earl Fisher as Pasqually P. Pieplate
 * Jeremy Blaido as Jasper T. Jowls
 * Chris Hill as Mr. Munch
 * Stephanie Sheh as Yui Hirasawa
 * Shelby Lindley as Tsumugi "Mugi" Kotobuki
 * Cassandra Lee Morris as Ritsu Tainaka
 * Cristina Valenzuela as Mio Akiyama
 * Michelle Ruff as Rei Ayanami
 * Tim Johnson as himself
 * Joe Leahy as Mr. Announcer
 * Chloe Johnson as Sex Hotline Voice
 * Tom Kenny as Bobby
 * Rob Paulsen as Audience Member #2
 * Kristen Schaal as Audience Member #3
 * Cree Summer as Audience Member #4
 * Patton Oswalt as Audience Member #5
 * Kari Wahlgren as Audience Member #6
 * Billy West as Audience Member #7
 * Duke Chauppetta as Dook LaRue (archive audio)

Summary
Following the Magic Night showtape incident, all four members of Ho-kago Tea Time go on strike to protest the chauvinistic conditions they were subjected to by Rolfe DeWolfe (a YouTube video posted by ShowBiz showed Ritsu and Mio having created a picket line outside one of the Yokohama locations, Ritsu shouting "Rolfe's a jerk! Ain't gonna work!"; this also appeared in a CEC TV News segment, which also had a scene about Mr. Munch's attempts to pan for pizza as if it was gold, which earned him scorn from Tim, who did a report on it in the style of his review segments on Fireside Chat with Tim Johnson), and the animatronic show went on hiatus; in its place, older Rock-afire Explosion Cyberstar segments from the late 1980s were shown. This showtape revealed Rolfe's termination from the Japanese franchise. He was replaced by Yui's sister, Ui Hirasawa (voiced by Xanthe Hyunh), who still utilized Earl; unlike Rolfe, Ui and Earl actually put together coherent comedy acts, and are very civilized towards each other. In addition, the Ui animatronic is capable of putting down Earl and picking up and playing a rhythm guitar, with Earl upgraded to now be able to function independently by way of an onboard rechargeable battery pack that recharges while he is held by Ui; Earl is charged independently of Ui's own onboard battery. Ui uses the U failure mode identifier. A new stage design for Ui was introduced for the Christmas 2016 showtape.

Over the course of the second segment, Billy Bob, Looney Bird, Ui, and Earl struggle to keep the show going, trying to find stuff to talk about and songs to sing before the audience walks out, even getting desperate enough to use Ui's iPhone to call up Uncle Klunk, only to find he had since changed his number (the number is now that of a sex hotline, which is hung up before anything explicit could be said), so they settle for Skyping Munch's Make-Believe Band and making cracks at the Five Nights at Freddy's video game.

Segment 1

 * (The segment begins with Mr. Munch, in puppet form, apparently panning for gold in a river.)
 * Announcer: Spanning the globe...
 * Chuck E. (o/s): No, Munch, he said spanning the globe, not panning for gold!
 * Mr. Munch: Oh, I'm not panning for gold, Chuck E., I'm panning for pizza!
 * (Cut to the CEC TV News intro, with clips from Munch's Make-Believe Band, The Rock-afire Explosion, and Ho-kago Tea Time in the background.)
 * Announcer: It's time for CEC TV News! Featuring newshound Jasper T. Jowls, plucky reporter Helen Henny, foreign correspondent Pasqually P. Pieplate...
 * Pasqually: Ciao! Heh heh!
 * Announcer: ...and Mr. Munch, taking care of the leftovers.
 * Mr. Munch: Did I hear somebody say "chow"?
 * Announcer: Take it away, Chuck E.!
 * (Chuck E. appears at a news desk in puppet form.)
 * Chuck E.: Thanks, Mr. Announcer! Hello, everybody! It sure is a busy news day today! Our top story:
 * (A graphic appears with a picket sign that reads "Strike!" on it)
 * Chuck E.: The Strike of the Century! Following the events of Magic Night at ShowBiz Pizza Place locations in the Japanese States, Ho-kago Tea Time has gone on strike, protesting the sexist and racist environment that can be traced back to one Rolfe DeWolfe! The disgraced ventriloquist and comedian has been fired from performing at locations in the Japanese States, but will continue performing with the Rock-afire Explosion literally everywhere else. With his sidekick Earl Schmerle now is Helen Henny.
 * (Cuts to Helen in puppet form outside of Rolfe's house with Earl in animatronic form)
 * Helen Henny: Thanks, Chuck E. Mr. Schmerle--
 * Earl: You can call me Earl.
 * Helen Henny: Okay, uh, Earl, can you give your side of the events of that night?
 * Earl: Gladly! Rolfe was being so insensitive, so misogynistic, I would've slapped him if, ya know, I actually had use of anything below my neck.
 * Helen: What about the ensuing scuffle between Rolfe and Ritsu?
 * Earl: Scuffle? I think "beatdown" would be a more accurate description. Ritsu came in like a wreckin' ball and made Rolfe cry and scream like a little girl. It was glorious...
 * (Cut back to news studio)
 * Chuck E.: Unfortunately, we can't air the rest of Earl's interview because he began advocating further violence against Rolfe. Jasper T. Jowls, meanwhile, caught up with Billy Bob and Looney Bird.
 * (Cut to Jasper in puppet form at Smitty's Super Service Station with Billy Bob and Looney Bird in animatronic form)
 * Billy Bob: I tried VERY hard to stop Ritsu from doing somethin' so rash, but apparently, Charlie shut off my mic. No matter what Rolfe said, he didn't deserve this.
 * Looney Bird: Okay, A: I cut your mic with a box cutter, and B: Rolfe has had it coming since 1980.
 * Billy Bob: Looney Bird, I thought I said DON'T advocate violence when they interview us!
 * Jasper: Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with Looney Bird here. Rolfe is an EXTREMELY unpleasant person to work with.
 * (Cut back to news studio)
 * Chuck E.: Our cameras were on site at a ShowBiz Pizza Place location in Yokohama, Kantō, where Ritsu and Mio have set up a picket line.
 * (Cut to the Yokohama location, where Ritsu and Mio, in animated form, are seen marching back and forth with picket signs)
 * Ritsu: ROLFE'S A JERK! AIN'T GONNA WORK! ROLFE'S A JERK! AIN'T GONNA WORK! ROLFE'S A JERK! AIN'T GONNA WORK! ROLFE'S A JERK--
 * Rei: And so's Hikari!
 * (Ritsu and Mio stop marching and look at Rei as if words fail them. After a few seconds, they resume marching.)
 * Ritsu: AIN'T GONNA WORK!
 * Chuck E. (v/o): Yui and Mugi are also picketing...I think.
 * (Cut to the exterior of a ShowBiz Pizza Place location in Kobe, Kansai, where Yui and Mugi seem to have just finished building something)
 * Mugi: Is this how picketing works?
 * (Cut to a wider shot, where it's revealed they have surrounded the building with a picket fence)
 * Yui: I dunno, but that was fun! And like I always say: fun things are fun!
 * (Cut back to the news studio, where Chuck E. is talking to someone off-camera)
 * Chuck E.: Can I get mustard on tha--oh, OH! Ahem. Next on the agenda--
 * (Suddenly, Tim Johnson barges in)
 * Tim: Right, that's enough!
 * Chuck E.: Oh, uh, Mr. Johnson! I wasn't expecting you here today!
 * Tim: The next item on your agenda was something about a skee ball record! That's not news! Now, scurry along while I deliver REAL news!
 * Chuck E.: Uh...okay. You are the boss, after all.
 * (Chuck E. exits screen left as Tim sits down at the news desk)
 * Tim: Now that the little vermin is out, it's time for some real news, which will be done in the style of my review segments on Fireside Chat with Tim Johnson, weeknights at 11:30 p.m. on WBC!
 * (Tim pulls out a piece of paper and clears his throat. His delivery of the headlines is in the most flamboyant and smarmy way possible. A graphic appears with pizza slices and a pan, with the caption "Pizza = Gold?")
 * Tim: Local idiot, Mr. Munch, has once again proven that the people of Planet Purple lost the evolutionary lottery! He has recently begun trying to pan for pizza in a river in California like a 49er would have panned for gold! This was his HORRENDOUS defense of his futile crusade:
 * (Cut to Mr. Munch, in puppet form, in the Sierra Nevada)
 * Mr. Munch: Pizza is like gold!
 * (Cut back to Tim in the news studio)
 * Tim: What Mr. Munch, IF THAT'S EVEN HIS REAL NAME, fails to recognize, is that, as a high-ranking member of ShowBiz Pizza Time AND the frontman for Munch's Make-Believe Band, he has 24/7 access to all the pizza he wants! NEXT!
 * (Tim throws the paper behind him and gets out a new one. A graphic appears showing Pasqually getting tomatoes thrown at him, with the caption "Milton Berle, he be not".)
 * Tim: Failed comedian, Pasqually P. Pieplate, is just that: a failed comedian.
 * (Cut to Pasqually, who is on stage with the "Pasqually's Amateur Hour" backdrop)
 * Pasqually: So, what do you call-a money paid for a pizza? (crickets chirp) Pizza dough! Ah? The crowd boos) Um, um, I'll make up for it now-a! Um... what do you call-a cream on your eye? (points offscreen) Yes, Bobby?
 * Bobby (o/s): You're not a comedian!
 * Pasqually: Eyes cream!
 * (The crowd continues booing and throws garbage at Pasqually, who exits the stage, trying to dodge the garbage)
 * Tim (o/s): But what's even more priceless is the audience reactions.
 * (Cut to the audience members, all of whom are throwing garbage)
 * Bobby: Get outta here, ya big wash-up!
 * Audience member #2: You suck! You don't deserve to go on stage!
 * Audience member #3: This club has ridiculously low standards!
 * Audience member #4: Worst. Comedian. Ever.
 * Audience member #5: Johnny Carson wouldn't invite you to sit with him!
 * Audience member #6: Go back to serving cardboard-tasting pizza, buddy!
 * Audience member #7: How did this deluded Charles Nelson Reilly wannabe get picked over dozens of better talent?
 * (Cut back to Tim in the news studio)
 * Tim: You KNOW your act is horrible when recently-disgraced ventriloquist Rolfe DeWolfe can put together a more cohesive act than you! NEXT!
 * (Tim throws the paper behind him and gets out a new one. A graphic appears with Dook wearing a dunce cap, with the caption "Stupider than Munch?")
 * Tim: Drummer for the Rock-afire Explosion, Dook LaRue, recently took an IQ test with a rock, a stick, and a sink. The latter three scored higher. And yet despite literally being dumber than a rock, Mr. LaRue somehow manages to have a voice of gold!
 * (Cut to Dook with his drums, singing "Honeybee" by Steam Powered Giraffe from the Concept Division Premiere showtape, then back to Tim in the news studio)
 * Tim: NEXT!
 * (Tim throws the paper behind him and gets out a new one. A graphic appears with a cross-eyed Nodoka and the caption "Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire")
 * Tim: Alleged genius, Nodoka Manabe, has come under scrutiny for apparently parroting information from Wikipedia during her history lesson on steampunk from the "Tribute to Steam Powered Giraffe" show at Japanese States locations a few months ago! Thus proving once and for all that she is NOT the genius she claims to be! Ms. Manabe could not be reached for comment. NEXT!
 * (Tim throws the paper behind him and gets out a new one. A graphic appears showing Chevy Chase in 1975, with the caption "We love you, Chevy")
 * Tim: Last story: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead, in case you were wondering. And that's the news for today! Tune in to CEC TV later when a panel of scientists debate whether pizza occurs naturally in nature. Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go fire CEC TV's programming director for the aforementioned panel of scientists program.
 * Announcer: This has been CEC TV News, with all the sensationalist bull you can handle!

Segment 2

 * Billy Bob: Whew! Another day reportin'!
 * Looney Bird: Let the word be known that Rolfe was most certainly very unpleasant!
 * Billy Bob: Anyway, we have some good news. After some searchin' we've just hired a replacement for Rolfe. She's going to be Earl's new co-star. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Ui Hirasawa!
 * (Stage Right's curtains open to reveal Ui, who's handling Earl. The design still uses that of the old Rolfe stage, though the banner has changed)
 * Ui: Hello, everyone! Hope you're doing all right! Now, I'd like you to know that I'm just the assistant. It's Earl who's the star. He's been carrying the show for years. Rolfe, on the other hand, only created Earl for money to pretend that Earl was the dummy.
 * Earl: FINALLY! I have a co-star who is humble! I like her already.
 * Looney Bird: Yeah, at least she isn't Rolfe! That nimrod should know that he's the dummy himself.
 * Ui: My sentiments exactly, Earl. Also, I should mention I'm Yui's younger sister. Though, people often say I'm the older sister, given how she can't seem to function without me, but I don't hold it against her.
 * Looney Bird: Wait, why are you Rolfe's replacement?
 * Ui: Well...I mean, I once did a ventriloquist thing at a Christmas party during Yui's freshman year. It was Ritsu's idea for us all to do little Christmas performances.
 * (Cyberstar monitor plays the clip from the K-On! episode in question.)
 * Looney Bird: So they hired you based on one small scene?
 * Ui: (sighs) I'll be honest with you, Looney Bird: Tim thinks Yui needs more emotional support. Mio has Ritsu, and Mugi can take care of herself, so who would Yui have? Nodoka and Jun aren't around all the time.
 * Billy Bob: So, what now?
 * Looney Bird: We better do something funny for the audience.
 * Billy Bob: Great idea! Let's call Uncle Klunk. Ui, got your phone?
 * Ui: Sure.
 * (Ui pulls out her phone and dials the number)
 * Woman on phone: Don't have a credit card? All you need to do is dial 1-869-420-7399, or 1-869-420-SEXY, and we'll connect you. You'll be talkin' with horny women and people who would like to be of--
 * (Ui cancels the call, her eyes wide and her jaw dropped)
 * Ui: ...WHAT THE *bleep* WAS THAT?!?!?!
 * Billy Bob: (brief chuckle) We apologize for the inconvenience. But we will still try to make some jokes here at ShowBiz. Ui, I think now's your time to shine.
 * Ui: But I haven't rehearsed yet.
 * Billy Bob: Just think of something funny.
 * Ui: (breath) Um, how is everyone doing today? I'm going to say you're doing great, because a special someone's got something to say. Tell 'em, Earl.
 * Earl: Oh, um, so one time, when me and Rolfe went our separate ways for a few months in '95, I walked up to my '68 Camaro, which has some hydraulics, nitrous, and a modified cockpit to be operated properly by a puppet; I still drive it, by the way, and suddenly Rolfe comes crying back, promising he'll treat me better. I don't buy it, so I drive off to the Howard Johnson's across town. I buy myself some ice cream, and I find Rolfe next to me, ordering the same flavor I just bought, which is caramel fudge. Rolfe says to me, and I quote, "Willing to try what you buy, Earl", unquote. With the meanest look you'll ever see on his face. And you know what I did after that?
 * Ui: What?
 * Earl: I kicked him out through a glass window. Literally. I didn't even know I could do that, seeing as I'm a puppet who doesn't have use of anything below my neck. See? My body just flops around. But I did it. Left the guy in bandages for weeks. And would have remained solo had Rolfe not lost a lawsuit he filed against me in court once he recovered and stolen me back as revenge.
 * Billy Bob: Not bad, but I think we can do more. Looney Bird, got any ideas?
 * Looney Bird: I'll see what I can do.
 * (Looney Bird goes back in his barrel, and sounds are heard)
 * Looney Bird: Done! With this Anti-Gravity Freedom Machine...
 * Earl: Ever hear of the internet?
 * Looney Bird: You don't know the half of it, Earl. With this Anti-Gravity Freedom Machine that I hacked, I can use it to generate jokes.
 * Ui: How did you do it so fast, anyway?
 * Looney Bird: That's how I do it. Now, let's find out.
 * (A joke appears on a Cyberstar monitor)
 * Billy Bob: "Want to know what kind of money you use in ShowBiz Pizza?" I don't get it, Looney Bird.
 * Earl: Yeah, I don't get it either.
 * Ui: I can tell this is gonna be a dad joke...
 * Looney Bird: (sigh) I'll give you a hint. You spread sauce, sprinkle cheese, and add toppings on it.
 * Billy Bob: Dough?
 * Looney Bird: Correct.
 * Ui: Didn't Pasqually make that joke already? I think it was one of Tim's news stories.
 * Billy Bob: The best kind of jokes, Looney Bird, go naturally. Not generated by machines or anything. All the greats did their comedy this way. Anyway, I'll try to do one myself. (clears throat) Um, how's it going, everybody? Yeah, we had a little mishap

Trivia

 * Much of the "What Now?" skit was Aaron Fechter and Xanthe Hyunh improvising their lines; they did so via phone patch. Chloe Johnson also ad-libbed the sex hotline dialogue, and her number was the one Hyunh called, which was planned.
 * This is one of the longest ShowBiz showtapes (at 47 minutes) after the New Year's Eve 1988 showtape (which was 50 minutes).
 * The scene in which Munch pans for pizza was filmed on location at the South Platte River in Denver, Colorado.
 * Chuck E.'s line "Can I get mustard on that?" before continuing his report is a reference to the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Ripped Pants".
 * Ritsu's rallying chant of "Rolfe's a jerk! Ain't gonna work!" comes from the Ed Edd n Eddy episode "Will Work For Ed". Rei's interjection of "And so's Hikari!" came from Jonny 2x4 in the original episode, in which he said "We hate broccoli!"
 * Uncle Klunk's old phone number going to a sex hotline is a reference to the fact that the phone number given in the NES adaptation of Who Framed Roger Rabbit (which originally played a pre-recorded message of Jessica Rabbit giving tips for the game) now redirects to a sex hotline.