Campaign Promises of Sheldon Johnson, Jr. (Johnsonverse)

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The following are promises that were made by Sheldon Johnson, Jr. for his successful 2020 United States presidential election campaign. Johnson has stated that he plans on making many changes to the United States of America. Some of them are plans that he has sworn not to announce until he is inaugurated.

Incomplete List of Platforms and Positions

Politics

Johnson seeks massive reforms to the politics of the United States, including how elections are carried out, corporate influence in politics, etc. Among these reforms include:

  • The complete dissolution of the electoral college. All future presidents would be elected on the popular vote. Johnson has stated that the electoral college is "too susceptible to corruption, blackmail, and foreign influence", and that it gives the middle and working classes absolutely no say in who leads the country, leaving them "at the mercy of politicians who are easily bought off, coerced, threatened, cajoled, and brainwashed into voting for a certain candidate by either the corporate lobby or foreign countries seeking to turn America into a puppet that they can use to influence international politics in their bid for world domination and I'm not gonna name names, but you know who you are, Vladimir (Putin). In other words, the electoral college could single-handedly undermine the very idea of democracy". He has also referred to the electoral college as "voter suppression".
  • The illegalization of corporate lobbying. Johnson has stated that Johnson Industries never has, and never will, interfere in politics to get its way, citing the construction of Continental Rail's various lines such as the Sierra Line as examples of massive projects built without federal backing. He went on to state that too many corporations have influenced politics for their own gain due to "somehow seeing themselves as entitled to money and above the law, and the middle class as essentially slaves". He finished this statement by saying that, if elected, any continued lobbying would see that company seized by the government for trying to create monopolies and skirt or bypass laws.
  • Reduction on the influence of the automobile and airline lobbies in Congress (conservatives have criticized this change, stating Johnson is only doing so to benefit Continental Rail).
  • The expansion of voting rights.

Military

Johnson also seeks major reform to the military, including:

  • The construction of a new class of battleships. Johnson stated that, in a war with Russia, the amount of attack submarines possessed by the US Navy would be insufficient to effectively cover a wide enough range to stop enemy convoys, shipping, and resupply tenders the way they did against Japan in World War II. The new class, tentatively named the California-class, would be a six-ship class based on the cancelled Montana-class battleship, and would have a more clearly defined role of commerce raiding, close-range port bombardment (with air support), and heavy shore bombardment in cases where the accuracy of Tomahawk missiles is not needed, only a massive amount of firepower. The ships would be the largest battleships ever built, displacing the Japanese battleship Yamato. Four ships would be assigned to the Pacific, with two based in San Diego and two in Okinawa, while the remaining two would be assigned to the Atlantic and based at Norfolk.
  • The RAH-66 Comanche would resume development, with the goal of replacing the aging AH-64 Apache family.
  • Total global nuclear disarmament, and failing that, introducing a treaty to only use nuclear weapons against extraterrestrial threats such as asteroids and hostile alien races. And if that can't be pushed through, either, Johnson will modernize the Strategic Defense Initiative (SDI) and incorporate it into the Space Force.
  • The development of new submarines dedicated to sinking enemy shipping. These boats, tentatively named the Orca-class (in a return to the tradition of naming US submarines after marine animals instead of states and cities), would work in tandem with the California-class battleships to destroy enemy shipping and convoys, and disrupt enemy supply lines. The boats would still be nuclear-powered and have a teardrop-shaped hull, but would lack anti-ship and cruise missiles, instead relying solely on its torpedoes; the design would also reintroduce deck guns for small targets not worth a torpedo, as well as anti-air guns for taking out ASW helicopters.
  • The repealment of Memorandum-19-004. Johnson called the directive a "stain on our country that had been getting more open" and claimed that it was "motivated by Trump's closed-mindedness".
  • A redesign of the Space Force seal. Johnson has gone on record as calling the current logo "the result of designers trolling the Trump administration" and pointed out that the stars in the logo are taken from the logo for NASA, as well as its similarities to the seal of the Starfleet from Star Trek. He also plans on rebranding it as the "United States Space Guard", as he saw the current name as "a name that wouldn't sound bad for a cheesy Saturday morning cartoon, but completely cheesy for a military branch".

Law enforcement

  • A complete reform of the police (this was added to the plans in the wake of the George Floyd protests). This includes banning chokeholds, carrying out a full audit of all police departments to weed out the racist cops, illegalizing the use of sound cannons, donating to community outreach programs, and revamping the entire justice system. Johnson has also stated that he would never defund the police, as he believes that the George Floyd riots (which he denounced) would only worsen due to a lack of police resources.
  • A complete pardon reform. Johnson has cited Trump's "endless pardons on so many known criminals who happen to be his political allies" throughout his term as the reason. This would also codify a 1974 bill stating that presidents can't pardon themselves, as, according to Sheldon, "this would be an absolute disaster if that mercenary pardons himself".
  • Banning waterboarding as a form of interrogation, as Johnson has called it "a form of torture masquerading as an ethical interrogation tactic".

Education

  • Complete education reform, with the aim of actually teaching kids, not indoctrinating them into what he has referred to as "Corporate America's way of thinking".
  • Later start times for high school. Johnson believes that high school is starting way too early for teens' natural sleep cycles, believing that start times were moved back because high schools don't care about their students, only grade point averages, and thus came to what Sheldon described as the "insane" conclusion that longer school hours translate to higher grades. He went on to say "this is why Tim and Chloe were homeschooled".
  • The illegalization of homework. Johnson stated that "homework is a waste of time and paper, and does nothing but satisfy the demands of parents", also adding that "this is another reason why Tim and Chloe were homeschooled".
  • The shutdown of Sallie Mae and renationalization of student loans. Johnson stated that the company is incredibly greedy, racist, and overall unethical, with unrealistic loan rates and charging higher rates to non-whites.
  • Instituting a less-than-zero-tolerance stance on bullying. Johnson said that intense investigations would be launched at all schools nationwide to weed out bullies and punish them accordingly; he stated that bullies would only be expelled and, in extreme cases, arrested, which he emphasized after Tim said on MySpace that "all bullies, except for those who were abused by their parents or others, should be publicly executed, and their heads mounted on pikes as an example to other would-be bullies", a post he later deleted when he realized it was "Trump language", even though many commenters agreed with his line of thinking.

Climate and environment

Johnson is the most-vocal opponent of the Trump administration's environmental policies, going as far as to call Trump a "Captain Planet villain" whose "greedy, destructive policies could one day result in biosphere collapse and human extinction before we can create interstellar spacecraft to colonize other systems and/or terraform Mars". He not only plans to completely reform the EPA, he also plans to:

  • Return to the Paris Climate Accords.
  • Illegalize nuclear power (except for naval vessels), citing Chernobyl and Fukushima-Daiichi (the latter of which Johnson was sharply critical of due to the incredibly-poor response by the governor of Tohoku).
  • Begin intense research into clean energy, including clean synthetic coal (such as biocoal) and oil (such as biodiesel) substitutes, increased use of wind and solar power, and the development of hydrogen power plants.
  • Increase the use of fuel cells in vehicles, ships, and planes, as well as research the feasibility of converting steam locomotives to burn biomass instead of oil, coal, or wood.
  • Heavily tax the fossil fuel industry.
  • Agricultural reforms, including illegalizing pesticides, expanding irrigation canal networks, developing automated harvesting of fruits and vegetables, increased use of silage for biogas (up to and including biogas power plants), and reducing the consumption of beef to cut down on greenhouse gases created by bovines.

Society

  • A complete reorganization of suburban areas specifically targeted at allowing non-whites to live in higher-income areas
  • Various labor reforms, such as four-day workweeks, strictly enforcing minimum wages under penalty of exorbitant fines, illegalizing hiring bias based on gender, race, religion, political ideology, and sexual orientation (though they can discriminate on the basis of whether one has been vaccinated, particularly for COVID-19), creating a watchdog group to root out corruption in management at all levels, and heavily discouraging outsourcing manufacturing to other nations
  • Achieve full rights for Native Americans.
  • The passage of the Equal Rights Amendment.
  • Privilege checks would be banned. Johnson considers it "a form of racism that intentionally targets Caucasians".
  • Donate clean water and equipment to the city of Flint, Michigan.

Diplomacy

  • Issuing sanctions to North China and Russia, as well as condemning them for human rights abuses.

Infrastructure

  • Nationalize the nation's railway infrastructure (but not the companies). There was talk of nationalizing all of the Class I railroads in the United States and having Continental Rail operate the system (tentatively named the "United States Railway Administration", after the nationalized network that existed during World War I), but this was quickly abandoned over fears that having Sheldon's old company be involved in government affairs would be "corporatist" and "nepotism", as it would effectively put Tim in charge of the national rail network. One option being discussed is privatizing all non-Continental Rail commuter rail systems and putting them under CR control.
  • Upgrade certain major Interstate Highways to Autobahn standards with no speed limits in rural areas, such as Interstate 5 in California's San Joaquin Valley.
  • Repeal the Buy American Act, and allowing railways and mass transit operators to have locomotives, buses, and light rail vehicles manufactured overseas instead of building new plants in the United States.
  • Reinstating net neutrality, a ban on false advertising (Johnson singled out advertising for privately-minted coins that "attempt to pass off as real US Mint commercials, and confusing people into thinking they're getting two coins when they're getting just one with two different designs, and tricking them into thinking they could get full refunds when they won't" as an example), and firing Ajit Pai from the FCC. The 1949 FCC Fairness Doctrine would also be reinstated, as Johnson disliked how many news sources had biased tendencies, and stated, "There's a reason why WBC has, and never will be, biased".
  • Completely modernizing schools with up-to-date ventilation, heating, and plumbing.
  • Harden the electrical grid against EMP, geomagnetic storms, and cyberattacks.
  • The restructuring of the MPAA and a revamping of the rating system. Johnson has said that "the rating system as it is now represents the moral guardian-dominated ratings of the late 1960s".

States

An idea of Johnson's plan for Douglass's state map. (The striped area represents what the planned federal district will look like.)
  • Johnson plans on persuading Congress to grant statehood to the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico, as he feels that "D.C. has been taxed without representation for too long. Also, the only reason Trump would be happy to veto the decision is that it would quote-unquote give the Democrats five House seats. It would only give them two", citing D.C.’s population being larger than those of Wyoming and Vermont (the governing body would be stripped down to the White House, the Mall, federal buildings and the Capitol) and "Puerto Rico needs to be given the support Trump doesn't think they deserve because of its majority Hispanic population". The names of the state and federal district will be determined.

Currency

  • Johnson has stated that he would roll out a complete redesign for all paper money, pointing out "how behind they are in comparison to Canada or Australia". The new banknotes would be made of polymer with a transparent portion, and Harriet Tubman would be incorporated into the $20 bill under the plan of the former Secretary of the Treasury, Jack Lew. They would also be aligned vertically and be of varying lengths. A $200 bill would be introduced, and all notes will use intricate designs that Johnson has promised will be on par with the Educational Series of banknotes printed in 1896, with influence from Canada's $10 bill design from 2018 onward; several other historical figures will also appear on the reverses on some of the notes. The new obverses and reverses would be:
    • George Washington on the blue-colored $1 bill with the Washington Monument on the reverse
    • Sacagawea on the green-colored $2 bill with various Native American "code talkers" on the reverse (more $2 bills would be made and put into circulation)
    • Abraham Lincoln and the Lincoln Memorial on the orange-colored $5 bill
    • Steve Jobs and a computer on the white-colored $10 bill
    • Harriet Tubman and a map of the Underground Railroad on the mauve-colored $20 bill
    • Martin Luther King, Jr. and the March on Washington on the brown-colored $50 bill
    • Alexander Hamilton and the US Treasury on the pink-colored $100 bill
    • Sadao Munemori and Independence Hall on the gold-colored $200 bill
  • The coinage side would also see some changes, such as the penny being revalued to 5 cents, the nickel to 10 cents, and the dime to 15 cents (the quarter and half-dollar would remain unchanged, though more half-dollars will be minted and put into circulation rather than be minted only for collectors as has been done since 2002); the coins' designs would also see significant changes for 2026 and beyond, with Laura Gardin Fraser's design for the quarter making its debut due to Johnson considering it the "true winner" of the design contest of 1931 and saying that it was disqualified because of "the sexist attitudes of the 30s", alongside new designs for existing coins (with the only exception being the Lincoln cent, though the denomination on the reverse will be updated to reflect the new five-cent denomination), which Johnson promises "will be a tribute to older coins while having a new identity"), which would go hand-in-hand with a ban on psychological pricing (such as prices ending in 99) and rounding all prices up to, for example, $10 instead of $9.99; the re-valuation of the penny would, of course, see Johnson's popular "Nickel Toys" (toys that sell for a nickel) renamed to "Penny Toys". For the first time since 1933 and 1968, respectively, U.S. Treasury would issue gold and silver certificates as a parallel currency, though, instead of having dollar denominations on the currency, it would be in troy ounces or even grams, and it would be strictly voluntary. National Bank Notes would be reintroduced, with the same anti-counterfeiting measures, in an effort to lower the country's national debt.
  • The Federal Reserve Act would be repealed, as Johnson has criticized the Federal Reserve system for "speeding up national crises" such as the Great Depression and the late-2000s recession, and has said that "it gave too much power to the government"; he reiterated that he does not believe that Federal Reserve hired Lee Harvey Oswald to assassinate John F. Kennedy after he threatened to shut them down (believing instead that Oswald was hired by the Soviet Union to get revenge for having to pull their missiles from Cuba, then hiring Jack Ruby to silence Oswald before he could talk and start a nuclear war). As a result, the notes will no longer have a designation, and the seal would change back to red.
  • The National Collector's Mint would be absorbed into the U.S. Mint and completely reformed, as Johnson has spoken out against the company, calling it "a big, fat scam mint preying on those innocent grandmas and grandpas who think they're buying something of value for their grandkids". This would also mean the greenlighting of a new $2 Silver Double Eagle for 2026, the 40th anniversary of the $1 American Silver Eagles, with the obverse using the design used for the Standing Liberty quarters from 1916-1930, and the reverse using a similar design to the NCM's obverse, though one of the eagles is female. The coins are larger than the $1 silver dollars, and contain two troy ounces of silver, which is even purer than the $1 Silver Eagle. A new $1,000 Ruthenium Eagle coin would also be greenlit, with the obverse using a new design of a youthful, confident Lady Liberty with her hair flowing in the wind and wearing a four-pointed crown representing the Four Freedoms (freedom of speech, freedom of worship, freedom from want, and freedom from fear), with thirteen stars representing the original 13 colonies forming a circle.
  • Related to the above, Johnson has promised to sign a bill regulating private minting; any private mint performing unscrupulous tactics would be seized by the government and sold to the highest bidder.
  • The $5, $15, and $25 Gold Buffalo coins would resume production for the first time since 2008.
  • The reverse designs of the Silver and Gold Eagles would be reverted to the original 1986 designs, as Johnson considered the originals "two of the most beautiful coins I’ve seen", and considers the chosen designs "boring and bland", having a coin collection of his own.
  • A third Bureau of Engraving & Printing facility would be opened in San Jose, California.

Landmarks

  • Johnson promises to build a Tower of Freedom in New York, as a tribute to all the people who were influential to American culture, and as a complete museum of American history, with statues of Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Thomas Jefferson, Ronald Reagan, and other famous American figures such as Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Hamilton, Cornelius Vanderbilt, Walt Disney, Neil Armstrong, Steve Jobs, Martin Luther King Jr., Susan B. Anthony, the Wright brothers, Frank Sinatra, Touch the Clouds, Dale Earnhardt, Stanley Kubrick, and Hirohito, Last Emperor of Japan, among others, topped with a statue of George Washington. The other exterior statues include: Christopher Columbus, John Jay, Woodrow Wilson, and Harry S. Truman, with additional statues of soldiers representing the Civil War, the Vietnam War, both World Wars, and the Revolutionary War. The Christopher Columbus statue was later deleted from the plans in favor of Nathaniel Banks once Tim showed Sheldon this Adam Ruins Everything segment. Artifacts in the museum will include Neil Armstrong's spacesuit, an original Macintosh, a replica of the Wright Flyer, the C&O desk, an original film reel of 2001: A Space Odyssey, Dale Earnhardt's winning car from the 1998 Daytona 500, and a New York Central 4-6-4 that Continental Rail had been storing for eventual display, among many others. The museum will also include a clone of The American Adventure show from Epcot.
  • A heavy crack down on tearing down statues illegally.
  • Johnson has said he will finish the Mount Rushmore monument as originally planned by Gutzon Borglum, before returning the Black Hills to the Native Americans, as he stated that "the US stole that land out of a lust for gold" and called the Native Americans "the true owners of the land". A new sculpture, commemorating Chief Joseph, Sitting Bull, Geronimo, Sacagawea, and Red Cloud, will be constructed somewhere in the Rocky Mountains.
  • The heads from Howard Hankins' former Virginia's Presidents Park would be restored and moved to a new site in Philadelphia, where it would reopen as Philadelphia's Presidents Park, with the additions of Barack Obama, Donald Trump (though very reluctantly due to Johnson's hatred of him), and Johnson himself. Each head would be accompanied with a biography of the presidents and several of their pictures.

Space Program

  • Accelerate retirement of the Apollo Lunar Module (LM) in favor of the Artemis lander.
  • Retire the Apollo Supply Craft (ASC) in favor of relying on the private sector.
  • Return man to Mars by 2022.
  • Begin developing technologies to catch asteroids, bring them to Earth orbit, mine them, and return the resources to Earth. This would include decommissioning the Air Force Space Transportation System (AFSTS) in favor of delegating servicing the SDI system and KH-11 satellites with Apollo, and repurposing the shuttles as freighters to bring resources back from processing stations, utilizing unmanned probes to scrape off chunks of asteroids to bring back to the processing stations, launching said processing stations aboard the Saturn V as modules, and identifying profitable asteroids. Johnson refers to this initiative as "the kick in the pants mankind needs". The Asteroid Mining Initiative would serve as the stepping stone to one day mining resources on other bodies such as Mars and Titan.

Other

  • Johnson plans to illegalize smoking and dismantle the tobacco industry, as he has been quoted saying said industry killed great people such as Walt Disney, Bill Cullen, and George Harrison. He also stated that any lobbying against "Smoking Prohibition" would be met with federal seizure, and that any "bootleg cigarettes/cigars/vape pens" would be found and destroyed, plus the inevitable "smoking speakeasies" would involve mass arrests. Upon buying McDonald's in 1961, Johnson placed a no-smoking rule on every restaurant owned by the company, even future acquisitions.
  • The illegalization of loot boxes and microtransactions in video games. Johnson has criticized them as "a way to exploit people with gambling addictions for selfish gain". Any company that refuses to adhere to this law would be seized by the FBI, and any further refusal would result in a public auction open to any company that does adhere to the law.
  • A roll back of Trump's travel ban on Muslims; the ban will now only apply to any Muslim for whom there is overwhelming evidence that they are a member of a known terrorist group, and that said evidence is concrete and not fabricated by racists
  • A crack down on state-sponsored terrorism
  • Johnson has pledged to ban the ikizukuri dish, stating that one time, when he was served the dish, he immediately tossed it back into the sea because he was disgusted with how it is served alive.
  • Johnson plans on codifying Roe v. Wade into statute.
  • A public option for health insurance would be put into place.
  • The decriminalization of recreational cannabis and the dissolution of D.A.R.E.
  • Johnson plans on passing the Equality Act.
  • Free community college.
  • Donating to urban Black communities across the country.
  • Honoring all of the broken treaties with various Native American tribes throughout the 19th century.
  • Johnson plans on a $1.7 trillion climate plan embracing the framework of the Green New Deal.
  • A roll back of Trump's recognition of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel and split Jerusalem into two
  • Illegalization of racial profiling and excessive use of force
  • Reduction of the list of deporting immigrants to members of violent gangs and other criminals
  • A heavy crack down on actual fake news and Russian bots
  • A crack down on terrorists buying guns, including forcing every American gun store to use a "do not allow" list containing American criminals
  • The declaration of the Ku Klux Klan as a terrorist group and a nationwide campaign to dismantle it using military force
  • Declaring Scientology a scam, shutting it down, arresting its leaders, banning its literature (up to and including burning Scientology books) and giving therapy to anyone who has been brainwashed by their propaganda
  • Return to the World Health Organization (Johnson has promised that he would do this on his first day).
  • Making Juneteenth (commemorating the freedom of the slaves on June 19, 1865) a national holiday.
  • The creation a standard for expiration dates on food and drink
  • A fight on political correctness
  • He plans on ending capital punishment, citing the risk of executing a wrongfully convicted person.
  • Johnson also plans to repeal the Patriot Act, stating, "In the government's mind, every citizen, even the most patriotic, myself included, is a potential terrorist planning to bring down America and everything American in order to impose their own will on the people". Johnson will also shut down the Transportation Safety Administration (TSA), calling it "security theater" and "a pervert's paradise"; TSA funding will be redirected to the CIA to stop terrorist attacks before they happen. The Department of Homeland Security will also be shut down, and its duties delegated to the newly-formed Civil Defense Administration (CDA).
    The logo for the proposed replacement of the Department of Homeland Security, the Civil Defense Administration (CDA). The logo was originally designed in the 1950s for civil defense initiatives involving nuclear war with the Soviet Union.
  • To complement the CDA, Johnson plans to replace the Emergency Alert System with the Emergency Broadcast Network (EBN). The new system will retain Specific Area Message Encoding (SAME), but the SAME Header and End of Message (EoM) tones will no longer be broadcast over the air, though it will retain the classic Emergency Broadcast System dual-tone attention signal from 1976. It will also be more visual than its predecessors, including a map showing the affected area; this map can show such things as the predicted path of a storm or tornado, which areas are most prone to flash flooding, the epicenter of an earthquake, coastal areas most at-risk of a tsunami, the last known location of an abducted child, and the predicted impact points of inbound nuclear missiles based on satellite trajectory data. The new system will also be able to use pictures and video, such as National Weather Service meteorologists giving live warning updates in front of a map or radar (like a news broadcast) as opposed to a computerized voice, a photo of an abducted child, the suspected kidnapper, and a general idea of the make, model, and color of the vehicle used, and live feeds showing a storm, tornado, flooding, dam break, volcanic eruption, earthquake, or nuclear attack as it happens. This will go hand-in-hand to the reactivation of the national siren system, reopening and reconstruction of fallout shelters, and creation of new print and video material about surviving a nuclear war or resisting foreign occupation.
  • He also plans to end the decency standard on art, saying, "That day in 1998...I was having a Big Mac with french fries at the McDonald's with Phil, and he gave me the terrible news. The moment the Supreme Court ruled on the decency standard on art being 'constitutional', I knew a bunch of shady conservative justices bribed the liberal justices to undo what artists successfully fought for in '96. I was so pissed, I painted on a canvas four members of Team Jenny cutting off the penises of human traffickers and cooking them for Louise's dogs while Jenny and Makayla look on in disbelief; I coined the name, 'Get Them Therapy', and sold it to an adult store in Texas. That painting says, 'Go ahead, government! Deny my grant and repeal the first Amendment!'. I was shocked Clinton and Obama never once tried to fight it."
  • A law stating all American citizens MUST be vaccinated or face jail time until they concede; this law is specifically targeted at anti-vaxxers, and specifically pertains to the COVID-19 vaccine

WORK-IN-PROGRESS